Finishing Spree

I'm great at starting things -- not so great at finishing them. Lately, however, I've been on a finishing streak. Ever since I finished my fair isle/icelandic yoke cardigan sweater (I don't even know what I knit anymore), I've been on a tear getting UFOs wrapped up.


I tore through the Pratchgan letter square and will finish the Automatic Pasta Cooker square tonight or tomorrow (I also thought I could call it The B.S. Johnson Patent Automatic Window for Take-Away Ribs). Photos when I'm finished.

I pulled SotS out of hibernation and am almost finished Hint #7 (of 8). I'm knitting through it now a lot faster than I was before. I'm hoping to have it done within two weeks -- preferably in one week.

I also pulled out the Manly Mitts I'm making for my dad -- a pair of convertible gloves in Misty Mountain Farms Prime Alpaca (yummy!). I think I remember the modifications I'm making to adjust the men's XL to his Hagrid-sized hands.

chug! chug!

Will write more later -- I have to go finish things!

one day I'll have a little program written that knitters can put on their desktop;
when they finish a project, they'll have this lovely little validation screen.

New Needles--Good for Drug Users, Good for Knitters

I was waiting to post this until I had pictures, but until I get around to taking pictures, you guys can exercise your imaginations.

I bought myself some US2 32" circs from Jenkins Woodworking. These babies are beautiful... the joins are smooth, the points are sharp, the cable has much less memory than Addi Turbos (I'm knitting SotS on Addi Lace circs and their cable is driving me nuts) and the wood is beautiful and pleasing in hand. I thought about switching them into SotS, but think I'll stick it out with the Addis and use my Jenkins needles for Mystic Waters.

The only reason I haven't cast on to these gorgeous needles is that I need to wind my Mystic Waters yarn. Yes, one of these days I will break down and buy a swift. I actually like hand-winding; I like to feel the yarn as I wind it--it gives me a good idea of its elasticity and temperament before I start knitting with it. The best analogy I can think of is that hand-winding is (in a very low-key analogy) to knitting what foreplay is to sex--you can do it without it, but it gives you a good idea of what's to come and makes the whole experience a bit more fulfilling. The thing I don't like about hand-winding is the skein getting all tangled; a swift would (mostly) remedy this.

Changing subjects: the feathers for my Boléro Anastase finally arrived--well over a month late--from Aashlok. I'm pissed about this on a number of levels. I called them a couple times and found out that the feathers had been back-ordered--and didn't bother to tell me--after they told me they were available to ship immediately, and after I paid to have them 2-day air shipped. Well, I should say that some feathers finally arrived--they sent me the wrong ones (5" long plumes instead of 2" curled). To add insult to injury, they sent me not the three continuous yards of feather trim which I had ordered, but a total of three yards of various cut-up remnants. I'd call and ask for the item I ordered, in a continuous length, but I'm afraid with a company that screwed up that I'd never see them. So I feel like that was $70 wasted.

The plan right now is to take the scissors to the ostrich feathers (as much as it sounds like a crime) and trim them to the correct length. That way I'll still have an ostrich-feather trim even if it isn't in the way I envisioned. From a designer's standpoint, it's just pissy that I can't get it just the way I want it when it matters. Here ends the bitching. I know there are bigger worries in life, but those niggling ones--such as paper cuts or hangnails--can be so damn annoying.

Happier topic: SotS is moving right along. At the end of Hint #4, I was worried that mine was getting too long (especially since I am known to block things within an inch of their fibrous lives) so I edited out about 2/3 of Hint #5 and started there. This is cheering for several reasons: actually, just one: I'm almost finished Hint #5 and will start Hint #6 soon!

I haven't been knitting anything other than SotS lately, so as much as I'm enjoying knitting it, I'm also looking forward to finishing it so I can pick up some other things on the needles.

Unrelated: I bought a new pair of jeans a couple weeks ago, and finally got around to picking them up from Nordstrom (who does free alterations on stuff you buy there). I LOVE THEM. They are my favorite jeans ever and I think I might have to buy another pair because I'm probably going to wear these every day until they get holes in places that makes them unfit for wearing in public. They're the Dojo jean by 7... I love the design on the pockets. I love the way they fit. I love that they are low-rise without the dangers of plumber's butt or muffin tops. They are--in a word--perfect. I used to swear by Citizens... no longer. I'm a convert.

Secret of the Stole Progress and Theme Guess

CAUTION: CONTAINS THEME SPOILERS!!!!

I'm almost finished Hint 3 of Secret of the Stole, so I thought I'd pin it out and see how it looks so far. The errors I made won't be noticeable to anyone other than those who know the pattern. No one will notice the gigantic hole made by two dropped stitches. Anyway, here it is:


I already have a pretty good idea of the theme. No, I haven't been working on the theme clues as released, but given this pre-blocked sample, I'd have thought it would be obvious. There are two possibilities right now:

THEME POSSIBILITY ONE:

DISORGANIZED VALENTINE:
HUGS AND KISSES FROM THAT SENILE AUNTIE.

"XxoXOoooXoOoOXooX, Aunt Muriel."



THEME POSSIBILITY TWO:
PERSIAN RUG SPACE INVADERS.

all the hip tribal rugs of the 1980s featured Space Invaders.

If Tinking is Technology, I'm A. Afarensis.

Thanks to Anne, my co-conspirator in fiber adventures, and Lindy, my tea swap pal, I have signed up for the Mystic Waters KAL. I think it would be a good project to use up one of the blue laceweight yarns I bought this weekend from Lisa--probably the Baby Alpaca Lace. I'm knitting SotS with that in purple right now and I love working with it.

Speaking of SotS... I cast on my first point yesterday, and worked on it for a while. I tried slipping the pearls on with a flexible wire beading needle, which worked great. The problem was that the yarn was doubled going through the pearl. This meant that more often than not, the yarn got stuck inside and--as metal is stronger than alpaca fiber--the beading needle would end up cutting the yarn on its way out. The upside was that the pearl was securely fastened, even if it was bobbing in the wind. I fixed them with some clear nail polish. I'm going to let them just hang loose for now, because I love the way they look, color-wise, with the yarn.

[Courtney forgot to add a picture]

Yes, there are some mistakes... I attribute this to having been a stubborn and intractable child; I never learned to count properly. The Man told me I had to learn. Of course, The Man wanted me to learn multiplication and long division, too. Yeah, I showed the system what's what. Now I'm an accountant and I have an adding machine. So go ahead, buck the establishment. Take a look at your local newspaper or elected official--most of those kids never learned proper grammar and they still became journalists and Congressmen. We have calculators and spell-check for a reason.

Unfortunately, there is no technology that can cover your ignorance in lace knitting... yet. Unless you count tinking and lifelines as technology.

I finished the Crinoid Shawl! I know, I haven't posted any pictures of it since I cast on. That's because I've only pretended to be working on it, and now I've pretend-finished it. No, seriously, I'll take pics and post those soon.

Since I've finished one thing, I want to start another. According to my Ravelry queue (how I love that thing), Cherie Amour is up next. But considering current projects, I want to do a little finishing before I cast on for something new. So instead of a fall sweater, Cherie Amour may be my new spring sweater.

On a completely unrelated note:
I don't know why I love hedgehogs so much--I've never even seen a real one. Blame it on a childhood involving lots of Beatrix Potter.

I saw the captioned one on I Can Has Cheezburger?.

Concise explanation of the post title: Australopithicus afarensis is thought to either be an ancestor in the development of Homo sapiens, or a side branch that never evolved further. A. Afarensis did not have stone tools (which are considered to have been a big step forward in human evolution). Please connect the rest of the dots yourself to see the whole picture.

The Knit Goddingdom Five O'Clock News

Updates:

• Boléro Anastase
• frantically working to finish homework
• ordered 3 yards of 2" curled ostrich feather for edging from CA
  
• praying that feathers arrive by Friday
  
• G Street for lining and notions Thursday
  
• hoping to finish during my class at Stitches East

• Bryan's Beanie
• finally found the perfect pattern
• cast-on after Stitches East
  

• Crinoid Shawl
• excruciatingly close to finished
• will not work on it until after Boléro Anastase is complete.
• only four more rows, then bind-off

• Jacket for Mom (aka Belled-Sleeve Cardigan)
• on hold until Crinoid and Boléro Anastase are complete.
  
• still really like it
  

• Secret of the Stole
• planning to cast on after Stitches East.
• bought beading wire and flexible needles; will try with pearls

Current reading (er, listening... I listen to audiobooks whenever I'm in the car--it's hard to have road rage when your imagination is engaged--and a lot of the time I'm knitting):

• Pratchett, Terry. Going Postal.
• Just finished it. It's brilliant and hilarious. It was my first Discworld novel, and was a good introduction to the goings-on of Ankh-Morpork.

• Pratchett, Terry. Reaper Man.
• A little slower than Going Postal. Would not the best introduction to the Discworld novels. Even though the pace lags slightly, I can't stop listening to it.
  

• Herbert, Brian. Dune.
• haven't started it yet. I've seen the TV miniseries and have heard that the book is much, much better.

Never fear, the snark and insanity haven't left... they've simply been too busy to sit down and chat. Never fear, they shall return. With teeth. Sharp, pointy teeth of... ah... yes! sharp, pointy teeth of truth, light and justice. I imagine they probably also glow in the dark.

Thanks for the heads-up on the two-skein method, DK.

SotS Fearless Leader (aka Nautical Knitter) has thrown a curve ball: start with both ends of the skein for cast-on, working two points simultaneously. I have no problem trying that, except the other end of my skein is 1500 yards and two days' worth of winding in the center of a hand-wound ball. I'm about as likely to unwind that ball to find the center as a sat-down mule is likely to up and plow a field.

Incidentally, if you are stuck with a sat-down mule and need it to plow said field, I recommend trying a parade. Mules love parades. I have never seen a mule sit down in the middle of the Mule Day Parade in Columbia, Tennessee (and yes, I have watched said parade). No, those mules step right along. That's where they get the phrase, "A mule on parade is worth two in the field, plus it works harder after a little vacation." If you have never attended Mule Day, you really ought to go sometime. It's highly a-mules-ing. I'd like to go back, but there was an incident involving my criticism of James K. Polk's foreign policy and the residents of Columbia politely but firmly asking me to leave town which I'd really rather not go into further detail about at present.

Back to the Stole. I know the instructions say, "DO NOT PANIC," but when I first read them, I couldn't find my towel. Panic ensued. Turns out it was in the wash--an accident, I swear ("it" being my towel, not the panic. It is well-documented that panic has a constitutional aversion to washing machines). After reclaiming my towel from the swooshy spinning menace and its threat of certain cleaning, I was able to sit down and give the instructions a thorough reading. I think I have come up with a solution, so all is froody again.

The green ball took up knitting after The Rolling Stones
rejected it as their intergalactic mascot.

The only reasonable solution I can think of is to knit one point (say, the left?) and break yarn, place the stitches on a holder, then knit the right point and sew 'em--or whatever it is we're supposed to do with 'em--together later.

I wanted a lace-knitting adventure, and now I have one.

Success!

Turns out knitting lace when you're tired and frustrated and new to lace knitting is not the best idea. I tried again this afternoon with success. After consulting a few books (naturally), I discovered that I had been doing my YOs wrong--and subsequently knitting them wrong on the next row. So I fixed the technical problems and knitted happily away.

Then I indulged my inner sadist and blocked the bejeezus out of it. You really have to wonder about all those lace knitters when they block stuff. Behind that satisfied smile, the cogs are turning as the mild-mannered mother of five imagines the yarn screaming for mercy as she turns another notch on the rack in the stinking dark dungeon. She listens with an expert ear for the delicate strain in the fiber as it stretches beyond its limit, careful not to let it rip. In the distance, she hears the splooshing plunge of raw fleece dumped into the washbasin. The fleece gurgles, splutters and cries out in vain as the apprentice draws near, holding a can of tennis balls and a brand new rubber toilet plunger. She listens carefully for the hiss and pop; she can almost smell the intoxicating aromas of new tennis balls and Eucalan. Ah, but she must focus on her task at hand. The apprentice is ready to handle felting on her own...

*Ahem*

I'd go on, but I'd probably have to start charging money and putting up one of those "No knitters under-18" entry pages. Here are some closeups. This is knit using Lisa Souza's "Baby Alpaca Lace" in Mulberry and #2 straight metal needles.


Above: clear #6 glass beads with silver interiors surround a hematite bead. Hematite is Fe₂O₃, for the nerds in the audience. (For extra credit, tell me its crystal structure and give examples of other minerals with that same structure. {/teacher)

Below: The purple bead is a freshwater pearl. I bought a strand of them, but my crochet hook (#12) isn't small enough to go through the hole, so I'll either have to come up with a creative way of stringing it, or do without them:

Secret of the Swatch Remains a Mystery

Revelation of the day: my lace knitting sucks. This is not self-deprecation in search of reassurance, either. I've knitted SEVEN swatches with three different yarns, with needles ranging from US2-4. They look as nondescript blocked as they do unblocked. I know what they are supposed to look like: a pair of semi-floating squares, thanks to the YOs, with a thin border around them. Mine? Not so much. Here is the latest photo of my best, closest-to-the-goal swatch:

I'd like to attribute this to the fact that I had an ass-kicking workout at the gym today, and that I worked on some essays, and my body is so whooped and my brain so fried that I can't concentrate on my lace knitting--but I can't. You don't need to have a great body or a sharp mind to knit. I'm doing something wrong. Tomorrow I'm going to review my technique bit by bit and find out where I've gone wrong. I know I have knit and purl down, so it follows logically that I'm doing the ssks and the YOs wrong.

So now the question remains: Will our heroine correct her swatch before the 4 October deadline? Will her Secret of the Stole become an inchoate pile of stitches? Stay tuned...

Yarns are Here!

*chanting* My yarns are here, my yarns are here, for Secret--of the--Stole!

I plan to buy beads today... then let the swatching begin!

*happy dance*

A New Contender for SoS!

There has been another entry into the Official Knit Goddingdom Secret of the Stole Yarn Selection Contest:

100% silk, 2/28NM, 2300yds/150g
from Coulour Mart

I ordered 2 cones and asked that they be wound into a 2-ply on a single cone. No idea how long it's going to take to arrive, but... it's silk! and silver! I haven't fallen off the yarn-diet wagon... no sirree... but I promise this is the last yarn I buy for SoS. It would probably help if someone made me pinky swear it, though. I can resist all things but yarn temptation.

Secret of the Stole Yarn Selections

I ordered yarn for Secret of the Stole today. I couldn't decide, so I ordered two. They are both from Lisa Souza Knitwear and Dyeworks. I cannot state strongly enough how much I LOVE Lisa's yarns. I knitted a baby blanket out of her Baby Alpaca Silk in "Pumpkin Gold" colorway, and it was gorgeous (see the link under "Finished Projects" on the sidebar).

The two contestants for Secret of the Stole are:

Baby Alpaca laceweight yarn in Mulberry

100% wool laceweight yarn in Poiple

When they arrive, they will be subjected to a rigorous battery of tests that will push their limits. They will be petted, swatched, blocked, strung up and paraded before a panel of judges who promise to pull no punches in their evaluations.

The panel is comprised of the Sénéchal du Knit Goddingdom, the bailiff and the premier baker. This year's esteemed panel also includes a surprise celebrity guest: the Empress of Knitting Goddingdom herself. We can only hope that there will be no in-fighting as there was last time the panel convened... when the Post Mistress General resigned after Judge Courtney pulled her hair and called her a stuffed-shirted snippy-nosed twit. Post Mistress General was quoted in The Knit Goddingdom Waffler-Picayune as saying, "I have no comment regarding the incident, although if I did I would probably mention that Judge Courtney is a parsimonious old hag who refused to give money to the Orphaned Yarn Project."

Judge Courtney responded to reporters by saying, "My lawyers have advised me not to comment on the incident, even though everyone knows that Post Mistress General made up the Orphaned Yarn Project to use other people's leftover yarn to enhance her own stash." Neither Post Mistress General nor Judge Courtney have been invited to this year's Yarn Selection proceedings.

As an added precaution, all of this year's panelists have signed an agreement stating that all arguments, spats and quibbles will be settled by pudding wrestling, so long as the Town Glutton doesn't eat all the pudding. We're talking rich, creamy homemade vanilla here. In the event that a pudding wresting match must take place, residents are notified that it is a BYOS event (Bring Your Own Spoon). Artemesia Caytsmith, the town loon, was quoted as saying, "I do hope there's a good fight this year at the Yarn Selection trials. I haven't had vanilla pudding in so long."

Future Projects

I. J'ai commandé le catalogue n° 198 du Anny Blatt Couture.

Je veux faire le Boléro Anastase.

I was thinking of edging it in ostrich feathers instead of the (pink) fluffy stuff in the picture. I found this site, which sells ostrich feathers sewn onto sticky bias tape by the yard. I really like the coque feathers, too.

I'm thinking about making this for the Chanel class... because the jacket I'm knitting for mom feels SO nice next to the skin, it would be a shame to cover it with lining.

In theory, this is brilliant. "I'm going to make this jacket for mom, and then I'm going to knit an intricate bolero for myself by October 14th, in addition to my other projects." In practice... I don't know exactly how I'm going to find the time to make all these things (see point IV). But, as you all know: where there's a knitter, there is an impossibly large number of UFOs being finished.¹

Some people get this stressed about their work: "I have to get this report finished by 11, then I have to catch the train to New York; I'm meeting so-and-so for a late lunch and then the Bigwigs of Big Companies for dinner, then tomorrow morning's the board meeting..." I'd rather get stressed about knitting. It's much more productive and meaningful in the long run. Not that corporate America doesn't have its benefits... but in five years no one is going to care how brilliant my presentation to MegaCorp was. In ten years, I'll still care about my knitting projects. Work = money => freedom. Knitting => lasting pleasure.

I looked up the recommended yarn, Anny Blatt "Caprice," which is like hen's teeth in the black color, not to mention expensive (11 balls at $18/ball? Maybe not). I decided to substitute knitpicks' "Panache" in Coal. I ordered three colors for the trim in Anny Blatt "Victoria." One is black, the second ivoire (which is supposed to be ivory, but on the Yarndex swatch card looked more like a platinum, so we'll see) and the last is Beryl, a pink mix.

II. I have yarn. I want to make a pair of Pomatomuses (Pomatomi?). This is a serious back-burner project. Maybe even behind the "there's no way in you-know-what I'm spending $500 on a sweater that I have to make" Wild Stuff project.


III. Current Project Listing (thanks, Excel!)
Whoa, I looked at the spreadsheet I had made up for my knitting projects, and it needed some updating. It also reminded me of projects I had abandoned, such as the Sophia Babydoll. All it needs is to crochet the straps and attach the feathers.

Knitting Projects	In Progress	% Complete	Materials	Pattern
Sophia Babydoll	x	80	x	x
UA knit beanie for Bryan	x	5	x
Crinoid Shawl	x	33	x	x
Thrummed Mittens	x	60	x	x
Jacket for Mom	x	5	x	x
Black Berrocco Chinchilla Wrap		0	x	x
Icarus Shawl		0		x
Navy Basketweave Sweater for II		0	x	x
Blue Cabled Sweater for II		0	x	x
Boléro Anastase (Anny Blatt)		0		x

IV. Secret of the Stole KAL
I joined my first mystery KAL! Will update more on this once I decide on a yarn and beads. Yes, beads (!!!). I'm super-psyched about it. I have until 4 October to procure and swatch said materials--then the fun begins!


¹ Proviso 1: Provided that the knitter is not knitting a 40" baby blanket in Dale of Norway "Baby Ull" on size 2 needles.