10 September 2007

Secret of the Stole Yarn Selections

I ordered yarn for Secret of the Stole today. I couldn't decide, so I ordered two. They are both from Lisa Souza Knitwear and Dyeworks. I cannot state strongly enough how much I LOVE Lisa's yarns. I knitted a baby blanket out of her Baby Alpaca Silk in "Pumpkin Gold" colorway, and it was gorgeous (see the link under "Finished Projects" on the sidebar).

The two contestants for Secret of the Stole are:

Baby Alpaca laceweight yarn in Mulberry

100% wool laceweight yarn in Poiple

When they arrive, they will be subjected to a rigorous battery of tests that will push their limits. They will be petted, swatched, blocked, strung up and paraded before a panel of judges who promise to pull no punches in their evaluations.

The panel is comprised of the Sénéchal du Knit Goddingdom, the bailiff and the premier baker. This year's esteemed panel also includes a surprise celebrity guest: the Empress of Knitting Goddingdom herself. We can only hope that there will be no in-fighting as there was last time the panel convened... when the Post Mistress General resigned after Judge Courtney pulled her hair and called her a stuffed-shirted snippy-nosed twit. Post Mistress General was quoted in The Knit Goddingdom Waffler-Picayune as saying, "I have no comment regarding the incident, although if I did I would probably mention that Judge Courtney is a parsimonious old hag who refused to give money to the Orphaned Yarn Project."

Judge Courtney responded to reporters by saying, "My lawyers have advised me not to comment on the incident, even though everyone knows that Post Mistress General made up the Orphaned Yarn Project to use other people's leftover yarn to enhance her own stash." Neither Post Mistress General nor Judge Courtney have been invited to this year's Yarn Selection proceedings.

As an added precaution, all of this year's panelists have signed an agreement stating that all arguments, spats and quibbles will be settled by pudding wrestling, so long as the Town Glutton doesn't eat all the pudding. We're talking rich, creamy homemade vanilla here. In the event that a pudding wresting match must take place, residents are notified that it is a BYOS event (Bring Your Own Spoon). Artemesia Caytsmith, the town loon, was quoted as saying, "I do hope there's a good fight this year at the Yarn Selection trials. I haven't had vanilla pudding in so long."

No comments: