Night of the Living Granny Panties

The completed Mon Petit Chou hipster front panel is 77 rows high, including the bind-off rows, which begin at row 67. I threw in the towel after row 49. 7sts from the end of the row, I realized I needed 7 sts and had 5 sts left. I counted. I recounted. Nope. I knitted the row correctly. It's entirely possible that I screwed up something another row back, but my previous rows came out okay. So... all is not well in the state of row 49.

Then came the defining moment:
I held the piece up to my body. Even with abnormally low crotch placement, row 49 hits about an inch (maybe and inch and a half) below my navel. For comparison's sake, the top of my ideal underwear sits 4.5" below my navel. All work on MPC has been suspended until I can figure out whose definition of "hipster" meant "can alternatively be pulled up over the breasts and worn as one-piece bathing suit."

the pattern shows (l) but was apparently written for (r)

And before you ask-- yes, I swatched. I have two more balls of Fixation, so I think I might swatch up another piece just to make sure I didn't count my swatch stitches during one of my Jim Morrison-style blackouts. That could have happened.

They frog granny panties, don't they?